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Chorus from a song/poem I wrote many moons ago...I guess you could say it is my pat answer for pat answers
[quote]"...and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, my son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the lord, nor faint when you are reproved by him..."[/quote]
Of course, that is a pat answer as well, sorry :). I see your point, though. Thought-provoking reading, as always.
No to be honest, he does not...he reproves us...a big difference...
But one more knowledgeable then I is currently writing a series on Non-violent parenting...Graham over at Leaving Munster
But one more knowledgeable then I is currently writing a series on Non-violent parenting...Graham over at Leaving Munster[/quote]
Hmmm ... good point. However, at least from my standpoint, enforcing my verbal command with a sharp (sometimes painful) reminder isn't necessarily or automatically an act of violence, or brutality. I think we may have our words mixed up. Take for example stepping on a tack. We feel a sharp pain. This is our brain’s way of telling us to remove the tack. Paul was given a thorn in the flesh, “lest I should be exalted above measure.” More pain. Hmmmm ... that was a stupid metaphor … but does that make any sense?
The goal of disciplining children (spanking) isn’t to create great pain anyhow. It’s all about the kid’s will being broken, and a bunch of other stuff like that. I know I have a lot to learn, so I don’t want to sound authoritative. Any comments?
However I think that if you are going to hit your children then make it fair and not dependant on the parent`s mood or time of day.
My father would beat my brother and I for being loud in the back of the car if he was in a bad mood and we quickly learnt the difference between dad in a good mood and dad in a bad mood, but maybe not the difference between right and wrong.
So I will finish with one of his favourite sayings
"Everything in reason and proportion"
If you look at the stages of a child's development
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development...
you will see that from age 2-4 transductive reasoning is the main mode of operation. That means, the child will learn case by case. Only later, will the child be able to engage in inductive reasoning, where he/she makes over-arching rules for clusters of situations that are similar in certain situations.
So, what this means is that if a parent with a child between 2-4 wants to keep that child from running into the street--the parent can either reason with him--(example: explain to Johnny that cars drive in the street and he might get hit by one if he goes there) However, this is outside of Johnny's development stage. Because the car is not always in the street. This is also a stage where the child is driven by pleasure-pain response. Therefore the child can either be detered from running into the street through the pleasure-pain mechanism of getting hit by a car. Or his parents can provide for him an alternative (less fatal) pleasure-pain learning mechanism. And this would not involve beating the child in anger.
From what I have heard in my share of sermons at the Beachy church--if someone disciplines their child in anger--they are immediately and always out of line. It is better to not discipline than to do so in anger.